Fressenwagen

Poetry: the stuff of which the dinner at Original Stamatis was made. If you missed this particular Fressenwagen, well, sucks for you. That would be a snooze/lose kind of situation right there.

I'm going to totally admit it: I'm basically phoning this blog entry in. I've had a hell of a week and am leaving for some fun in the sun relaxation in a few minutes, leaving you lovely people to find your way through the mushy gray snow by the side of the road. Not to rub it in. Back to the task at hand.

Reasons the dinner was great, no particular order:

1. I Didn't Drive.

Now look...you know how I love to drive. And I do. I like the sense of control (shocking!). And when I drive, that sense of control is so inextricably interwoven with the exciting element of danger (as anyone in the carpool for the Bukharan place can attest). But the Blizzard of '09 (you think there's going to be another one in the next week?...famous last words) made the prospect of trying to find on-street parking in Queens even less appealing than it had been beforehand. The subway ride was direct, quick and painless. Plus at least one (charming, and handsome, albeit new) person had told me that the F-wagen was in need of at least one intimate rendezvous with a Dustbuster before it would be passenger-ready (said person apparently has higher sanitary standards than the usual crew: who will bend first?). All these factors combined into the perfect storm: an event where I did not have to worry about picking people up who 'run late', and an event where I let control go to the winds. I also forfeited menu ordering and check-calculation responsibilities (and thank our local clergy for performing that service). I'm no lame duck here, by the way -- I'm still in charge, people (insert sound effect of cracking of whip). But I've got to say, it was kind of nice to kick back, relax, pour the wine and see where things went.

2. The Experience Rendered Everyone Incapable Of Substantive Commentary On The Food.

Which is weird, right? Since we're supposed to be GOING FOR THE FOOD, people. Remember?? Sigh. So I only got a few quotes on the food involved in the experience. I'm not freaking Rumpelstiltskin here: I can't knit gold out of straw or whatever the heck that guy did. I list the quotes below. - "That was the best octopus I've ever had in my life." - a non-kosher (albeit, apparently, circumsized) diner. - "Please pass the wine. Again." - Me. - "I always thought it was branzino and not branzini."- kosher poor speller. - "Excellent tzatziki and great bread." -that's what I thought she said but her mouth was full of tzatziki and bread at the time so it was kind of unintelligible. -"I'm still tasting the garlic," one eater said the day after. "Not necessarily in a good way. Is anyone else feeling sick?" I didn't bother to pass that last one on to all of you guys. I'll assume the answer was 'no.'

3. The Group Was...Unusual.

Why? What made the group unusual? Well, let's start by the fact that this was our biggest F-wagen event yet: over thirty people. Two tremendous tables. "It was little like a wedding," one regular said...and he didn't necessarily mean it in a good way (though I'm going to put it out there right now that if there is a Fressenwagen wedding and I'm not invited, there's going to be hell to pay). I do feel the more the merrier...hence why invitations were extended and accepted up to the very last moment.

I'd like some feedback on the size of the group. Many found it a lot of fun. Others found it utterly overwhelming. Suggestions for how to make this a better experience are actively solicited. One new member of the group says he may be able to facilitate packages for true outer borough dining experiences, to the tune of...other cities. Interesting. Again, comments sought. I feel we have miles to go before we sleep/cover all the great restaurant turf locally. Actively soliciting suggestions for January (which I can take or disregard as I see fit).

This truly was an exceptional Fressenwagen. I think we officially crossed a line with this one when I received an e-mail from a friend of a friend saying, "I hear you organize these amazing outer borough dinner parties at out of the way, good restaurants. How do I buy a ticket?" Wheels...turning...

Okay, I can't be nonchalant about it any longer. I mean, who am I kidding? I was totally, totally excited for this Fressenwagen of all Fressenwagens, because of our special guest! And I would be remiss if I didn't mention it.

So let's give it up for...the Fressenwagen Driver's Sister, people!!! (multiple exclamation points!!!!!) God, I LOVE that girl. She came, she ate, she interrogated, she laughed. I daresay the girl even enjoyed herself. Stars: they're just like us!!

Until, that is, she decided to head out on the early side to limit the extortion from the babysitter. I quote from the transcript of an interview with her: "We went to the subway platform and saw a man dressed as a female clown with hair sticking straight up, enormous high heels and gold facepaint in stripes." (Immediately, I wondered, was this someone I dated in 2007? No, he's far away by now...hmm.) She continued: "He was muttering to himself as he paid for his MetroCard."

"And THAT is why I never come to Queens," my outer-borough-phobic sister concluded. "Who knew 'Queens' was not only a name, but a literal thing?"

Happy end of 2009 to all of you, and happy 2010. May it be a year which brings you only happiness, health, joy and good food with old and new friends and loves.